The sms I received on 18 July 10:31am.

Out of the blue.  Regarding my kids who had recently returned from Europe.

“Glad our boys are back & sounds like they had a great time, we are proud of them & I am sure you are 2 that they could travel so far on their own.”

……..it was out of character, I was suprised.  But my mother in law (ex) said I should take it as a good sign that she is warming to me.

ha ha….

The email I got today (shucks she writes to me a lot of late):

“………..If you want to be of any help then you can try and be a good ex wife by not being so much in one’s face all the time.  The boys are of such an age that they are able to communicate without your help or interference.  Know your place and I am sure I will be able to be more friendly with you and perhaps I will actually be able to tolerate you…………”

Sjoe.  Ok, then.

She* sms’ed me as they drove away from dropping my kids “If i choose not to greet you try accept it!”

It was the ! at the end of the sentence that had me flummoxed.

Apparently I am “rich and happy” and that gets up her nose.  So some days my greeting her is simply annoying.

oh.

I think she’s lovely.

After a week of rain, today the sun is streaming in the windows.  The boys all went out early so I curled up and slept until 10:10.  Blissful.

When I came downstairs the room was all golden and my eyes fell on the fruit bowl.  I read this week that apples help you feel full so eat one 30 minutes before a meal.  I am also starting to use lemon on my salad and loving the crisp citrus tang.

Today I was feeling sorry for myself.  Stuck between being a mum and a career woman.  I have been invited to a conference overseas and I know I should feel honoured ….but I don’t want to go.  The week that I am away is my birthday and our rugby moms weekend away.  <sad face>

I had a coffee date with my neighbour and she had baked a yummy chocolate cake so I hauled my sorry self out of my pyjamas and we had a great chat.

Then I bought myself flowers.

My sister is a bit of a hippie and she gave me a strand of bright buttony looking beads.  Not really  my thing.  But this morning it was a cold rainy day so I wore a black top with a little black cardigan, denims and flats.  I put on the beads and it made the outfit “pop”.

Walking into the office I got loads of compliments.

Do not expect to love yourself completely and wholly every day of your life. It may sound like a worthy goal, but it’s actually a trap. Because if you hold yourself to that standard – the standard of consistent, unwavering, holistic self-love – you will fail. And when you catch yourself wishing your upper lip was less hairy or your thighs a bit slimmer, you may feel guilt or shame. Since the goal of striving for self-love is to abandon guilt and shame, this is counterproductive.

Sally from Already Pretty is light years ahead of me.  She takes pictures of what she’s wearing – what a great reason to make an effort every day.   I will put that on my list of things to work towards…

 

Hmmm, today was a me day.  I made a date for coffee with a girlfriend at 10:30.  Then the hair dresser at 1:00.  But at 3:20 I was still sitting in foils like a roast chicken and it was time for the school run.  So they had no time for a leisurely wash and massage nor a blow.  I had to dash out with wet hair but they kindly invited me back on Friday so I don’t miss out on those nice bits.

Today I needed one of those “gobbler” things.  They have one on the “how do I look show”.  It eats all the hideous clothes.  I went through my underwear draw and threw out anything baggy or saggy.  And my pyjama draw.  I had to stop there and dash down to top up at Woolies.  Then I packed and folded (into storage) everything in my cupboard that does not currently fit.  

It looks quite sparse but it will be much easier to navigate in the mornings.  And less depressing.

I’m opening my eyes to see “me”.  I’ve not spent much time doing that this past decade.  Now its time.

My goals will be small like walking on the treadmill or stopping to buy flowers.

Or maybe just pausing to look in the mirror.